Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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