Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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