is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We have started to decorate penises.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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