the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
