Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize