if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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