You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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