What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
