I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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