Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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