do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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