You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Sponge bath it is.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
