I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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