Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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