Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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