if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I AM VODKA MAN
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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