He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
