I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
