And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
