okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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