my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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