So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
