Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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