I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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