Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize