woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize