so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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