i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
