In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
