I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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