and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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