The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
