Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
