Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
