the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
