I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
