Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
