I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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