I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
