I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
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He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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