He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
