Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize