On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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