Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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