I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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