yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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