why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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