Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
