So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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