There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
