Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
a search helicopter?!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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