You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Randomize
