Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
