i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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