is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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