I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize