Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
